Mushy Tummy

I'm not one for mushy posts.
And I've been spending a lil too much time thinking about posting this or not…
and that got me thinking further,
...why shouldn't I?

Sharing this blog with others, I realized I started to worry about the audience's perception of me again.
BUT before I lose this mushy-tummy-warmy feeling, I realize, its MY blog, my thoughts, mine. :) Read on, if YOU must.

Where was I? *strokes imaginary thinking beard*

Ah.
I'm not one for mushy posts.
But blame it on my friends' melancholy, recent break ups, recent hook-ups, or just sudden highlight of couples.
Or blame it on my mushy movie after a marathon of my favorite crime-solving series,
Or blame it on spending a lil too much time reading my friends' blogs about their romantic plights,
Or blame it on the accidentally finding old letters I received - of infatuation, of love, of immature declarations,
Or on the amuhzing massage I had while reading those letters,
Or blame it on spending an afternoon tearing romance up into logic and rationality...

But I'm suddenly in the mood to enter a realm I often push aside to the realm of the unnecessary emotions
(no, not out of bitterness mind you, but why focus on something that doesn't concern me just yet, when there are much more important issues to focus on?).
So for a few lines, a few minutes, a lil vulnerable, a lot sleepy, I just wanted to record giddy joanie's thoughts
(before they disappear again for another umph years haha) for serious joanie's review someday.

There will come a time when someone makes you feel weak and strong at the same time.
A time when someone will eat your oreo cookie while you greedily eat up the cream but make up for it by sharing your milk.
A time when your hair will be brushed away from your face just because its covering your fezzz,
A time when dancing isn't for others but for yourselves and the feelings, laughter, connection it invokes between you two.
When safety, security and invincibility isn't as important as spontaneity, electricity/chemistry and cute akwardness(ity?).
When that time comes (or its here, or it came), make sure to live it up -- enjoy it.
It might be a single moment, it might be forever, it might end with tears, it might be with the wrong person, it might be right,
BUT all the "it might" has to pass by the "it is" before it's at all significant, so might as well enjoy the now.

No, I do not intend to let go of my belief of love as a decision to settle for any poor schmuck who becomes mr. right now.
On the contrary, it means enjoying life as it is right now -- no wishing for the past to come back or the future to come sooner,
but to enjoy the present by living it up -- for yourself and for the possibility of anything.

What am I saying!? I honestly don't know.

But I have this stupid grin on my fez, this sparkle in my eye (with a hint of a tear), this mushy-tummy feeling,
and this general light feeling you get after watching someone else's love story (no matter how impossible the story is).

And the world is asleep but Im on a high, so I'll record my thoughts instead, and hope one day, it'll make sense.
For now, smile. :)