Sundays are Music Days

Before the day ends, i want to introduce a new concept

(coz if the day ends, there really wouldn't be a point to the idea).

Let me share my musical promiscuity on Sundays.

Sundays will be music days.

i got the idea from Sara A. blog and she named sunday to be her song day. :))

i absolutely loved the idea. because i realized, music is one of the HUGE (est? haha) inspiration in my life. so ofcourse, gotz ta share it.

But since i can be a little confusing with my musical taste

(i absolutely hate being boxed into a genre

— i can go all out party rockin, chillin to folk, get high on techno, emo to ballads, reflective to indie, and heck, kahit local ALL IN ONE DAY)

so let me share my musical lovers for the week -- my soundtrip/sound escape the entire week. :)

1. This is a cover of daft punk’s “Something about us.” the original is good as it is, but the saxophone of this version is just lalalalalove.

2. Okay, so I know this is old. but i heard this again during a fashion show last summer and can't seem to get it out of my happy feel good playlist
-- Florence and the Machine's Dog Days are Over.

3. This needs no introduction. Anyone who has recently interacted with me knows that I have just been singing this song for the past weeks - nay, BELTING this song (gotta give Adele justice)
-- Adele's Rolling in the Deep

4. Ah the classics. This is one of my "WAKE UP and BE HAPPY!" songs. :)
-- The Beatle's Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da

5. And ofcourse, the inspiration of my blog name (not coz its my favorite but simply because i was listening to this song when i was making my blog, im random like that). But you gotta admit, the cool beats of this song is comfortable (whatta description haha)
-- Steve Appleton's Dirty Funk

Oh, you'll notice this isn't an official video -- he's not actually a famous artist, just a beautiful musician with a beautiful guitar. haha

Hungry in Class

I'm hungry. *classmate talks to me
I'm hungry. *teacher discusses
I'm hungry *classmate says something funny, whole class laughs. Huh? What happened?!
I'm hungry. *teacher continues to discuss
I'm hungry *classmate makes fun of me during class presentation Hahahahaha
I'm hungry. *whole world goes on
I'm hungry.

This was my situation during class last friday. I learned absolutely nothing, recall absolutely nothing, and remember nothing, except that I was hungry.
Oh wait, no, I remember some other things…
My tummy hurt.
My head was throbbing.
I was fantasizing dinner – sambokojin or some kind of buffet to celebrate my sis bday.
Regretting not having had lunch.

And that's one day. One missed meal. One wasted class.
Imagine 10 months (an average school year). 900 missed meals. An entire school year wasted.
Multiply that with 4000 kids of only 4 public elementary schools.
You get the big picture that the Blue Plate for better Learning feeding program wants to address.


I had started to question my involvement in the program (being a part of the core team that conceptualized the blue platito program, ASMPH’s 1.6 M fund-raising contribution to the larger initiative). My time as a YL6 student is precious – if im not studying or blogging, I should be catching up on sleep (and the occasional meal), so I had to asses my commitments properly. I had three things that bothered me:

1. I couldn’t actually reconcile nation building with the idea of a one-meal-per-day feeding program.
My experience last Friday basically concretized this for me. A seemingly insignificant issue, but how are we all supposed to learn, to develop without nutrition. And as they say, the youth is our future, so we need to maximize their capabilities.

2. All these lessons on sustainability; yet we undertake a feeding program – a 6M worth task (all 4 Ateneo graduate schools).
Ricky’s inspired post basically answered this issue. His beautiful point was that despite the seemingly small contribution and shady sustainability of the program, it is still our concrete single drop. Plans for sustainability and nation building cannot remain in the classroom or in theories or in the minds of the nation’s intellectuals, they have to be translated to action.

3. Its hard enough to get support for extracurricular projects – how much more one that involves GIVING UP money.
You have to believe in people; when they see the value of something, the concrete manifestation of what they had just given up – they are ultimately altruistic. My Case in point: this freshie who gave up her shoe fund – absolutely adorable - as her pledge for blue platito. People WANT to make a difference. Give them an avenue to.

I am proud to be a part of this project. If not for our nation and for the kids, as I’ve explained; then for myself, to be part of something that actually wants to build and is building a nation.

Support Blue Platito! Support Blue Plate for Better Learning!

Discombobulated "diabetic" blogger

To a curious person who has a little tooooo many thoughts to comprehend at one given time,

the blog world, the blogosphere, the act of blogging,

is like giving a rare yummy sugar-free (but not low-glycemic index) candy

to a recently diagnosed insulin-dependent type 1 diabetic child.

YUMMY CANDY
I have something that i super want to gobble up because i tasted a bit and it was awesome; the taste, and the feeling
- the freedom to write whatever, plus the added (mostly-imaginary) perception that somebody might be reading and appreciating.

SUGAR-FREE (but not low-glycemic index)
In little doses, its good for me -- and my development. BUT not in large doses. Too much posts with no actual content
is going to be a depressing read for me when i someday look back (as i plan to use this blog as some kind of diary).

RECENTLY DIAGNOSED
im a new blogger. haha (late i know, the trend was soooo 2006, i have no excuse.)

INSULIN-DEPENDENT
im a med student first. PRIORITIES PRIORITIES PRIORITIES. So while i love the occasional sweets and posts here and there,
i recognize what i NEED and PRIORITIZE more, insulin - med! (pilit na analogy? hihihi)

Type 1 DIABETIC
it was bound to happen, the body cannot produce insulin, its not because of a bad lifestyle developed through the years.
She's tasted sweets, because she wasn't born diagnosed with diabetes.
(okay, i just wanted to brag that i knew how to define type 1 diabetes in simpler terms. haha)

C H I L D
The child is still a child, so she loves sweets. And she can be a immature. (ME!)

K, fine. I admit, failure of an analogy.

IM A VERY CONFUSING and CONFUSED PERSON.

Maybe I should have just said what I wanted to say right away.

(which i dont often do btw, you'll notice that with my writing skillz..)

Basically,

I'm new at this. And I love it.

I have so much to say that sometimes it overwhelms me.
I end up having so much notes on different blog entries to write -- but never actually finishing them for publishing.
Also, Im a med student who has an exam every monday, so my weekends are study/cram time -- priorities.
I'll update soon enough, and I shall do my best to update with less words, more meaning.
Or less posts, better quality per post.

Hold on, do not please yourself. This is not (just) for you imaginary reader.
This is for future joanie as well. So that when i look back to read these "diary entries",
I can laugh, I can cry, I can be proud, with what I had posted,
And not be completely NR (no reaction for those who did not know that ;p)
because I had just posted for the sake of posting (which i am doing now arent i? crap!).

Point of the matter is.

im trying to fix this blog up - changes are coming.
im going to become a doctor - even if it means giving up sweets.
i will post better posts - but remain authentic.
i dont want to be diabetic - one diabetic in the family is enough.
i am random - notice?

deal with it. (a pun at a facebook hacker's skillz)

Janet's Birthday

Today, is no ordinary day.

It’s the birthday of the love of my life.

One of. (coz im hoping we’ll both find our actual loves someday)

When you were younger, I didn't want you to grow up

Coz it meant losing my chubby-cheeked doll/toy/tail.

You grew up anyways, and instead

I gained a confident confidante, a bestfriend, a mirror.

Happy 20^th (uhuh, she’s THAT young and smart) Birthday

to the sweetest sumptuous sexy sister out there,

Janet “Jinky, JAN-et, joanie’s sister” Chavez

I just wanted to let you know that despite my three-year temporal maturity,

you have always been the REAL elder sister in our relationship.

I love you and am here for you, as I always have and always will be.

Here’s to more years of….

Manifestation of Inspiration

I've been spending (nay, wasting, considering I have 70+ pages of reading pathology books to do...) my time going from blog after blog after blog as I deliberate just what to put in this little site of mine.

And in my little adventure, I found all kinds of people -- from dear dear friends to complete strangers; from self-proclaimed artists to structured architects; from socialite fashionistas to anonymous wannabes; from quirky shoe makers, to depressed comic inker, to deep performers, to innovative layouters, to blind photographers, to innocent students, and to interesting potheads. All of them living their lives and sharing it with the world through their blogs.

Its amazing.

To try to grab some kind of insight from all this "time-wasting", I reflected on what they all have in common. Apart from living some kind of interesting life, they were ALL inspired. Different manifestations of their inspiration, but all of them inspired by some form of something/someone to do something. It got me on my feet, to share my own life to the world, that meant having something to show. So I took a cue from the blogs I went through,I tried taking fashion shots (because what girl doesnt believe she has a right to say she's got style), started drawing again, cutting my own hair (yes, there are actual hair blogs), brainstorming ideas with friends, designing, looking for pictures and videos of old performances -- anything BUT being a med student.

Suddenly I was living life. I wasn't just sitting down, pretending to listen to a boring lecture while playing tetris, or downing cups of coffee to stay up for another all-nighter, or forcing 30 pages of physiology/anatomy/pathology into my brain even when the words all start to sound alike... I was suddenly part of the population that was doing something right now -- the prime of their lives, when they aren't too young to not be taken seriously or too old to not know how to have fun.

All this adrenaline rush from exploring old and new things I used to and learned to be passionate about brought out a creeping feeling, that maybe just maybe the medical profession isn't for me. Two years (and millions of pesos, and lots of heavy med books, and emotional investment later) into med school, this kind of thinking meant treading on dangerous waters. But for so many factors (including a beautiful article on the loss you gain from med school by a batchmate), I treaded anyways.

But after all that, after everything I tried, after my passions were rekindled, after the revelation of the amazing and endless world of possibilities of a new joanie out there, I still wanted to be a doctor. I really do.

Even after the threat of losing my weekends to zombie 2nd year med, the reality of barely-passing grades, the momentary loss of a few medschool support systems (momentary because change isnt just loss, but new possibilities), the boringness of Robbins (my new bestfriend/pathology book btw), I still want to be a doctor.

And I realized, I contributed to the world that way. No, not contribute LATER when I become a doctor, right now.

When I live my seemingly mundane life to becoming a doctor,

when i choose to study to become the best clinician I can be,

when I throw myself into extracurricular activities to instill the social catalyst in me,

when I take on unnecessary responsibilities to develop the dynamic leader I should be,

and most importantly when I waste my time on other peoples lives/blogs, continue to draw /perform /cut my bangs/style myself /blog, to remain grounded to the reality of being a person - the core of a good doctor.

I am contributing.

So these are the manifestations of my inspiration.

“Doctors are often accused of callousness, venality and self-infatuation.

But they remind us that they have sacrificed the springtime of their lives,

completely lost the previous years between their 20’s and 30’s

acquiring skills to benefit their fellow men.”

- Erich Seagal, 'Doctors'

BTW, if you are wondering where in the world you can find these people,

I post most of my random inspirations (sites, pics, music, whatever floats my boat) in my tumbleblog.

The Unleashing

Finally. A Blog.

But what to do with it. what to do… *strokes imaginary thinking beard*

We all have that insatiable need to share our thoughts. Men. (admit it big guy) Women. (no duh we do!)Young and Old. We all have a little something in here *points to gut* that just wants to come out, wants to be introduced to the world. Problem is, sometimes the world isn’t always ready. Sometimes, its not the right time. Sometimes, theres no right person to tell it to. Sometimes, no one wants to listen. All the time, society dictates the appropriateness of such things.

So we tame those little thoughts and postpone their unleashing for another time.

I don’t claim to be any different. Like everyone else, I love to talk (a lil bit more than I should even) but unlike most of everyone else, I am particularly careful with what I unleash. At this point, most people who know me would disagree and claim that I am as random as they come and that, filters do not exist for a mouth like mine. Little do they know, I choose to be perceived that way. It’s much easier to get what you want out of people when they think they’ve figured you out. But let’s reserve that for another post.

Where was I? Hmm… *imaginary thinking beard semi-stroke* Ah. Yes.

Those little thoughts of mine that have been carefully chosen not to be shared with the world that I’ve worked so hard to create, those little thoughts that yearn to be unleashed are usually shared with an intimate few — notable not for their beauty, not for their strength, not even for their intellect but simply for the kindredness of our souls. People that I know would accept whatever comes out of here *points to gut* with the least judgement imaginable. Spread across my life (literally spread — across oceans, across time, across gender, across sexuality, across cultures, across religion, you get my drift)like little puzzle pieces, they are my support system.

BUT Reality has reminded me recently (cruelly and abruptly BTW, but then again, how else is reality supposed to be?) that human support systems are unreliable in the sense that you can’t keep them forever, part of being human is changing, evolving, becoming. And when you can’t keep up with the change, you have to allow yourself to let go.

So now, I have a blog. A little something that’s my own. A little place I can just be me. REALLY. A place where those thoughts can be unleashed and roam around freely — reality and society can sit back and enjoy. :)